hii agaiin, aa
by magniloquentChanteuse
Summary: Aradia dies in a car crash and Sollux has a hard time letting go.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a week.

One whole week since Aradia had gotten into a car with Tavros, Sollux, and Equius.

One whole week from a night of diners and movies and arcades.

One whole week since Sollux had asked Aradia to homecoming.

One whole week since she said yes.

One whole week since they had called it a night and headed home.

One long, long week since that drunk driver had slammed into the front passenger door.

One endless week since Sollux, Equius, and Tavros were released from the hospital with only minor injuries.

Two short hours since the funeral.

Sollux was aching inside, he felt like he was dying too. He wished he was the one who had been in the passenger seat that night. He wished he hadn't looked over at her from behind the wheel and seen where the other car, something old and sturdy, had crushed in her side of the car, and with it, her. He wished more than anything that they had left a few minutes earlier, or even a few minutes later. Then everything would still be ok.

A few weeks later, it was homecoming. Sollux stayed home. He had drawn into himself, worrying his friends, but he didn't really care. He missed Aradia, and he blamed himself for her death. He was the one driving the car, after all. He should have been more careful.

He rolled over in bed and his eyes shifted automatically to his computer. He considered it for a moment, tempted to just stay in bed, but then he stood and moved to sit at his desk. Slowly, he opened the laptop and found Trollian open. His gaze shifted down the list of contacts, but no one was online; everyone was at homecoming.

Then his eyes found her name.

He couldn't help it: he clicked.

Sollux spent the next few hours sifting through their old conversations, tears streaming down his cheeks, but occasionally laughing incredulously at some of the things one or the other of them said. Eventually he reached the bottom of the chat history and, after a moment's hesitation, opened a new chat.

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 23:14:49 –

TA: aa

TA: hii.


	2. Chapter 2

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 23:14:49 –

TA: aa

TA: hii.

TA: 2o ii know you're dead but ii ju2t wanted two talk two you again.

TA: ii can't iimagiine you would miind.

TA: god, aa, ii mii22 you.

TA: iim 2o 2orry.

TA: iit'2 my fault you're dead.

TA: and ii'm ju2t 2o 2orry.

TA: ii ju2t want two 2ee you again.

TA: iit'2 homecomiing toniight, you know.

TA: ii wa2 2o happy when you 2aiid you would go wiith me.

TA: ii already had a 2uiit piicked out and everythiing.

TA: ii wa2 goiing two get you a cor2age.

TA: everyone'2 probably haviing a great tiime but ii ju2t couldn't go.

TA: not wiithout you.

TA: ii hope that you're ok, wherever you are.

TA: and ii gue22 ii never 2aiid iit whiile you were aliive, but ii love you, aa.

TA: ii've loved you for a long tiime.

TA: and ii alway2 wiill.

TA: 2o…bye, aradiia.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 23:33:58 –

Sollux closed out of the chat and leaned back in his chair, slowly letting out his breath. After a moment he reached up and wiped the fresh tears from his face and closed his eyes. He was surprised to realize that he didn't feel nearly as bad as he had before he messaged her. He opened his eyes again and stared at the screen for several long minutes, then allowed himself a small smile. He sat at his computer for a long time, then stood and turned off the light. He went to bed, feeling better than he had since the accident.

After that, Sollux started to come out from behind the walls he had built. When his friends noticed, they were overjoyed, and their happiness to see him acting normal again lifted his spirits even further.

Then came the end of the year, and Sollux was drawn to Aradia's screenname on his Trollian again.

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 15:48:15 –

TA: hii agaiin, aa.

TA: ii've been thiinkiing about you a lot lately.

TA: iit'2 been a whiile, now.

TA: iit'2 the end of the 2chool year.

TA: ii wii2h you were here two fiinii2h the year wiith u2.

TA: we'll be 2eniior2 next year and you 2hould be, two.

TA: thii2 ii2 2o me22ed up.

TA: thii2 ii2 2o 2iick.

TA: you know, they caught that guy who hiit u2 that niight?

TA: he'2 iin jaiil for driiviing under the iinfluence and man2laughter.

TA: he only got a couple year2. ii2n't that 2uch bull2hiit? iif ii had my way he'd be iin there for liife.

TA: iit'2 hii2 fault you aren't here any more.

TA: and miine.

TA: ii'm 2orry.

TA: haha, wow, ii can practiically hear you.

TA: you would tell me iit wa2n't my fault.

TA: you would probably 2ay that it'2 "0kay".

TA: go2h, ii mii22 that.

TA: and that face you u2ed two make.

TA: 0_0

TA: ii remember one tiime you triied a 2miiley one but you thought iit looked 2tupiid.

TA: ii never told you but ii thought iit wa2 really cute.

TA: 0u0

TA: wa2 iit that? ii think that'2 what iit wa2.

TA: iit wa2 a whiile ago, ii don't really remember.

TA: maybe ii'll look iit up 2omtiime.

TA: 2hiit, aa, ii ju2t realiized, my fiinal2 2tart tomorrow and ii've barely 2tudiied at all.

TA: 2o ii'm gonna go, ok?

TA: love you, aa.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 16:14:26 –


	3. Chapter 3

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 17:16:26 –

TA: hii agaiin, aa.

TA: iit'2 been a few day2, ii gue22.

TA: ii'm 2orry.

TA: ii've been kiind of bu2y.

TA: fiinal2 and 2hiit, you know.

TA: ii'm 2ure you wouldn't be 2urprii2ed two hear that ii aced my exam2.

TA: iit'2 2o funny how teacher2 thiink that you're goiing two faiil ju2t becau2e you never pay attentiion iin cla22.

TA: they never 2eem two get that 2ome people ju2t don't liike 2chool but that doe2n't mean ii'm goiing to let my2elf not know thii2 2tuff, you know?

TA: well, anyway, ii ju2t wanted two check and 2ee how you were doiing, whiich ii gue22 ii2 kiind of nut2 2ince you can't talk.

TA: you aren't even lii2tening.

TA: 2hiit, that wa2 depre22ing.

TA: ii gue22 ii ju2t liike pretendiing that ii can 2tiill talk two you.

TA: you were the one ii could alway2 talk two the mo2t. ii could tru2t you wiith anythiing.

TA: ii wii2h you could have tru2ted me behiind the wheel of that car, FUCK.

TA: there you go agaiin, aa.

TA: or, well, you would iif you were aliive.

TA: tryiing two make me feel better. you were alway2 really good at that.

TA: it'2 hard, stiill, aa.

TA: ii mii22 you every day.

TA: the other2 mii22 you, two.

TA: heh. do they me22age you, two, aa?

TA:ii gue22 iif they do, that'2 theiir bu2iine22.

TA: bluh, my mom'2 been calliing me for diinner for liike, ten miinute2 and now 2he'2 bangiing on my door 2o ii gue22 ii 2hould go.

TA: bye, aa.

TA: ii love you.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 17:33:06 –


	4. Chapter 4

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 6:41:25 –

TA: 2hiit, iit'2 2o early.

TA: ii hate 2chool.

TA: e2peciially the fiir2t day of 2chool.

TA: iit'2 2uch a paiin iin the a22, you know? we ju2t got off 2ummer break and now we've got two walk around and iintroduce our2elve2 two teacher2 and read 2yllabii and put up wiith homework on the fiir2t day.

TA: ii'm 2orry ii haven't me22aged you iin 2o long, by the way.

TA: ii ju2t

TA: iit'2 hard two have a conver2atiion wiith a dead giirl.

TA: but ii gue22 ii ju2t wanted two talk two you today…complaiin a liittle. rant or 2ome 2hiit.

TA: haha, karkat ii2 2tiill a ranter, ju2t 2o you know. ii kiind of thought he would mellow out a2 we got older, but he get2 louder every day, ii 2wear.

TA: iit'2 the funniie2t thiing.

TA: ii wii2h you were here two 2ee iit.

TA: you would thiink iit wa2 hiilariiou2, two.

TA: 2omehow the2e conver2atiion2 alway2 end up 2o depre22iing.

TA: ii gue22 ii ju2t mii22 you.

TA: and haviing you iin my contact2 2tiill ii2 really great, 2eriiou2ly. ii really liike beiing able two talk two you.

TA: keepiing you up two date and 2hiit.

TA: and ii know you wouldn't liike iit, but ii 2tiill

TA: 2hiit.

TA: ii 2till blame my2elf for iit.

TA: ii wa2 iin therapy for a liittle whiile, there, and my therapii2t triied two tell me iit wa2n't my fault all the tiime.

TA: but he wa2 a total priick 2o ii 2topped goiing.

TA: iif you were here, I would have talked two you about hiim.

TA: well, more liike laughed wiith you about hiim.

TA: god, the guy wa2 2uch a pretentiiou2 2hiit.

TA: whiich ii gue22 ii am two, 2o maybe that'2 why ii dii2liiked hiim 2o much.

TA: ii don't know. there'2 that 2ayiing: biird2 of a feather flock together. fuck that.

TA: they al2o 2ay oppo2ite2 attract.

TA: iit 2eem2 liike the proverbiial "they" don't have a clue about what the fuck they're 2ayiing and they need two ju2t 2hut up becau2e they're ju2t contradiictiing them2elve2.

TA: alriight, well, ii'd better finii2h gettiing ready for 2chool.

TA: ii'll talk two you later, aa.

TA: ii love you.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 6:59:52 –


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey, Sollux!" At the call of his name, Sollux turned, shocked out of his early morning catatonia.

"Oh…Fef. Hey." Sollux couldn't help but stare. He hadn't seen much of his friends over the summer, as most of them had gone on vacation, including Feferi. She had grown up a lot over the past few months.

"Good morning! Are you ready for the first day of school?" She beamed at him cheerfully and he gave a shrug in response. "Me too! I love the first day. I can't wait to see everyone again!"

"Yeah, I gueth it'll be pretty cool." he tried not to get too caught up in her enthusiasm, but it was infectious.

"Pretty cool?" She prompted, the lilt to her voice assuring him that she was just teasing. "Oh, you know you missed us! Are you going to be at lunch today?"

"Where elthe would I be?" The dry response set her to giggling again and she bobbed her head in agreement.

"Right! Well, I'll see you then! Look, there's Nepeta! Hi, Nepeta!" With a last wave, she rushed over to the other girl. Sollux watched as they put their heads together and spoke quickly, then they glanced over at him and they were giggling again. God, girls and their giggling. Sollux said he knew a lot about the ladies, but in truth he was just as clueless as his other male friends. After a moment he shook his head to himself and slumped off to class.

"Sollux, you asshole, where have you been all summer? I tried trolling you but you never answered."

"Oh, thorry, Kk. I wath pretty buthy." He slid into the seat next to Karkat, smirking a little. "You know, important thingth, important platheth, important people. More important than you."

"No one's more important than me," Karkat snapped back, slumping in his seat. "I'm your best friend, you should be clamoring to spend time even a few precious moments with me like the other desperate shitstains we call friends. Do you know who I spent practically all last week with? Eridan. And I mean, sure, he's not as bad as some people, he's definitely not as bad as you make him out to be, but I can really only stand so much goddamned time with him in person before I start to rip out my rapidly thinning hair."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Kk. Jutht thuff it, would you? It'th way too early to be griping like thith, I don't know how you do it. Let me catch a nap before clath."

"Maybe if you didn't go to bed so late you wouldn't be so fucking tired in the morning, dumbass," Karkat countered. "Maybe you should start going to bed earlier. Seriously, if you want to be completely ridiculous and have some kind of pathetic fixation on the number two, then whatever, that's your own business. But staying up until 2:22am every night is kind of pushing it, isn't it? That only leaves you, what, four hours of sleep? Three and a half?"

"Oh thut up, at leatht I do thleep," Sollux frowned at him. "I'm pretty thure you don't thleep at all. What time did you go to bed latht night?"

"That's not the point," Karkat replied evasively. "We're talking about you here, not me. Besides, I get plenty of sleep."

"You're full of thit, Kk. Don't lecture me about my thleep paternth until you fix your own."

"At least I can stay awake in the morning," came the returning grumble, but Karkat crossed his arms and let it drop, so Sollux decided to take a quick nap that ended only when the bell rang at the end of class.


	6. Chapter 6

- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 23:34:17 –

TA: hii agaiin, aa.

TA: ii mii22ed you a lot today.

TA: ff caught me

TA: ii wa2n't cryiing, though.

TA: 2he wa2 really cool about iit.

TA: 2he mii22e2 you, two.

TA: everybody doe2.

TA: ii can practiically hear you telliing me not two worry 2o much.

TA: that you're fiine.

TA: but iit'2 ju2t hard 2ometiime2.

TA: ii mean, we were goiing two go two homecomiing together.

TA: we were goiing two be together.

TA: 2hiit.

TA: ii wonder iif you'd be ok wiith thii2.

TA: how ii

TA: feel about ff.

TA: ii gue22 iit doe2n't really matter.

TA: iif you were here iit wouldn't be an ii22ue.

TA: and 2iince you're not, you can't tell me what you thiink.

TA: ii thiink ii'm goiing two a2k her out.

TA: iit'2 been a whiile. iit'2 ok for me to move on, riight?

TA: ii promii2e ii'm not forgettiing you, aa.

TA: ii'm gonna go.

TA: ii love you.

- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 17:33:06 –


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, FF."

"Hi, Sollux!" She beamed at him, sitting up straighter. "What's up?"

"Not much," he admitted with a small shrug. "Mind if I thit with you?"

"Go ahead," she agreed with a smile, moving her books out of the seat next to her. He slid into the chair, looking around at the other students self consciously. No one was paying them any attention; everyone was busy studying, or, at least, pretending to.

"What are you doing?"

"AP Bio," she replied, her lips quirking. "This class is so hard. I'm starting to wonder if I'll be up to med school if I can't even pull an A in high school!"

"You can do it, FF." He smiled reassuringly. "You're thmart enough to get thith." Her smile brightened again.

"Thanks, Sollux." she looked down at the book for a moment, then pushed her papers inside and closed it. "So was there something you wanted?"

"Nah," he hesitated. "Actually, yeah. I wath wondering…" he chewed anxiously on his lip. "If you wanted to go, I don't know, get thee a movie or thomething?" Feferi's smile widened and her cheeks flushed pink.

"Uh, I…yeah, absolutely! I'd love to!" Her voice rose in pitch, resulting in a nasty look from the librarian.

"Great!" Sollux perked up, grinning. "Tho, um, when are you free?"

"Well, Friday would work for me." She was squirming in her seat a little, excited.

"Right. Friday. That'th great." He grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder as he stood, still beaming. "I'll thee you later, ok, FF? I've got thome thuff to do." he paused. "I'll troll you tonight and we can talk about what to thee, if that's alright."

"Sure, Sollux!" Her hand was inching towards her phone. "Talk to you later!" Sollux turned and walked out of the library with a slight spring in his step, his lips pulled up into a cheerful smile.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Ok well, it's officially been almost three weeks since I've uploaded this chapter and, you know, I don't think my inspiration is coming back.

And this is why: post/35845221070

They did in a few panels what would take me much, much longer and I'm afraid I just lost heart.

Oh well. Sorry, guys, but...I'm gonna have to declare this one closed and unfinished.


End file.
